The Orange County Youth Sports Foundation honored/roasted hockey great Teemu Selanne as its Sportsman of the Year Thursday night at the Island Hotel in Newport Beach.
The OCYSF folks just might still be trying to crack jokes and praising him as you read this.
I left the event at 9 p.m. and it seemed as if they were just starting. I think it was supposed to be a roast, but it didn't seem as if Teemu was aware, as I caught him showing his game-face stare a few times after some jokes.
No one told Bao-thy Grant the event was supposed to be a roast. The Ducks' oral surgeon who described herself as a short, Asian chick didn't put down one of her favorite Ducks, instead talking about how he's a great and amazing man who happens to play hockey. Or, at least I think he still plays hockey. I didn't think 43-year-olds could still fly across the ice and win games for hockey teams.
Tom Johnson, my former boss and the emcee of the event, tried to get some decision out of Teemu, but the hockey guy wouldn't say anything. He never spoke to me prior to the event. However, he was kind enough to shake my hand. As did renowned goalie Guy Hebert, who, unfortunately is infamous in my book when it comes to these sports pages. But that is a story for another day.
Oh, wait … is this column supposed to be about Teemu?
Forgive me, I am not much of a hockey fan. I mostly follow football, especially this time of the year.
It's actually time for fantasy football.
I was fortunate to see Jacquie Olsen at the event. Her daughter is Jaycee, a former standout thrower (track and field) at Corona del Mar High, who will be a senior competing at UCLA, which only makes me feel old.
Back to fantasy football. I've been playing it since 1992.
Jacquie's boyfriend, Michael Kazemzadeh, who I met, has been playing longer than me.
Jacquie was kind enough to remind him that I have started a fantasy football blog: Fantasy Football & Total Geeks, that is about my leagues and the great game of fantasy football.
I also have a Twitter handle for the fantasy football blog, @Atotalgeek.
Oh wait … is this column supposed to be about Teemu?
And is the banquet still going?
I was in the house long enough to see my friend Paul Salata speak. I was so honored that I was able to sit next to Paul for the night. I was able to listen to his stories, some of them the same and some that were new.
I guess it's now OK to make fun of his little friend Sammy Lee, who went missing a while back.
Paul teased that he was the driver and that Sammy needed X-Lax that day.
Oh wait ... is this column supposed to be about Teemu?
He was honored as Sportsman of the Year, but Johnson reminded him that others, including Rick Neuheisel, Mike Scioscia, Matt Leinart and Mark Sanchez, were also "greats" who received the award.