It’s a Gray Area: Thank you for letting me share my ideas with you

For this past year, I have had the privilege of being able to write a column in this space about any subject of my choosing.

So during this time we have discussed and dissected things like healthcare and education; the criminal justice system, including the ineffectiveness of the death penalty, drug prohibition and three strikes and mandatory minimum sentences; the differences among the three main political parties; American patriots like George Washington, John Adams and Theodore Roosevelt; and noteworthy figures from our past like William “Buffalo Bill” Cody and Albert Einstein.

And I am thankful to this newspaper and, even more so, to you as my readers for this opportunity.

But on this Thanksgiving weekend, it seems appropriate to bring this weekly column to a close, after first expressing my gratitude. So thank you!

For me, Thanksgiving is the best day of the year. It is a day for family gatherings and focusing upon and expressing gratitude.

In keeping with those thoughts, every year at our Thanksgiving dinner my wife Grace asks each of us to write down the three things we are most thankful for. This is really a good idea because no matter our station, we are all truly blessed to live when and where we live and to have what we have. And these blessings are compounded if we are aware and appreciative of them.

So what are you thankful for?

As I stated in the first sentence of the Introduction to my book “Wearing the Robe” (Square One Press, 2009), the best decision I made in my life was choosing my parents. Being the son of Elizabeth and Bill Gray has afforded me many benefits, and I am truly thankful for that. But I believe that this has also given me a moral obligation to help those who did not “choose” quite so well.

For us parents, one of the things to be most grateful for is to see our children grow up to be happy, well-adjusted and secure young adults. In fact, in many ways I believe that seeing this is the best thing that can ever happen to a person.

I am also truly thankful for so many immigrants in our country, such as the Vietnamese. Look around you, so many of them are truly living the American Dream.

For example, once during a political campaign, I was in the office of a Vietnamese owner of a small used car lot who had pictures on his wall of some young adults. When I asked him if they were his two children, he responded proudly that yes they were. His daughter had graduated from Columbia Law School and was quite successful in her practice, and his son was currently in his second year at Harvard Medical School.

So many immigrants appreciate our great country and the opportunities it gives us all for freedom and the pursuit of our individual happiness. All of us should all remember to be similarly appreciative of what we have.

As a further example, when I was a judge on a mental health calendar, where we sometimes placed people on conservatorships, I remember a case involving an elderly blind woman. Against the woman’s wishes, her children finally but appropriately determined that their mother simply was not able to live alone any more in her longtime home, even with full-time help. So they found an assisted living facility for her.

When the day came for the move to the new address, their mother had dressed herself up in her finest clothes and told them she was really excited to go to her new home. As soon as they arrived, the mother told them that she could already see that she would really love living there.

The children responded: “Come on, mom, you’re blind. You can’t see anything about this place,” to which she said: “I know, but I am going to be here anyway, so I might as well decide to enjoy and appreciate it.”

What a lady — and what a lesson for us all.

On this Thanksgiving weekend, may we soundly focus upon our blessings, remember the important things in our lives, and bear in mind the lesson from that blind elderly mother to be content with what we have and where we are.

So thanks again for the opportunity to share my thoughts, suggestions and views with you for the past year, and happy Thanksgiving forever!

JAMES P. GRAY is a retired Orange County Superior Court judge. He lives in Newport Beach. He can be contacted at JimPGray@sbcglobal.net.