My Answer: Divorcing friend needs someone to lean on
Q: How can I help my friend? She found out recently that her husband has been unfaithful, and now he’s moved in with his lover and is filing for divorce. My friend is devastated. How can I encourage her when her future looks so bleak? I feel so inadequate.
— Mrs. R.C.
*
A: Divorce has become so easy and so common today that I’m afraid we’ve lost sight of just how terrible it can be.
I’ve often said that a divorce is like a death — the death of a marriage. Just as the death of a loved one brings us grief and loneliness and fear of the future, so can divorce. No wonder God has said he “hates divorce” (Malachi 2:16, NKJV).
One of the most important things you can do right now is be her friend. That may sound trite, but it’s still true. Often, we back away from situations that make us feel inadequate or uncomfortable, but we shouldn’t, not if we want to help someone who’s going through a hard time.
Probably, the best thing you can do right now is to be a good listener, not trying to give your friend empty advice or quick solutions, but simply being with her. The Bible says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen (and) slow to speak” (James 1:19).
Even more important, you can pray for your friend, asking God to help her through this difficult time and assure her of his love. God knows what she’s going through; he also knows the feelings of failure or anger or fear she may be having.
Most of all, urge her to turn to Christ and commit her life and her future into his hands. We’re never alone when we know Christ.
*
Q: How can I find something in the Bible that I remember from somewhere but don’t know where it appears? For example, when I was a child my mother made me memorize some passages in the Bible, but I don’t remember where they are, and I’d like to find them again.
— Mrs. J.R.
*
A: I’m glad your mother encouraged you to memorize the Bible when you were young; I wish more parents did this today. Even if you don’t remember every word now, hopefully God’s word has helped shape your life.
The Bible says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11).
The easiest way to find a Bible passage that you remember is with a book called a concordance. A concordance will list almost every word in the Bible, including the phrase or sentence that contains it and where it can be found.
Many Bibles include a brief concordance in the back, and your local Christian bookstore can suggest more extensive ones. Others are available on the Internet.
I’m thankful you want to rediscover some of the Bible passages you once knew, and I hope you’ll do it. But I also hope you’ll make the Bible part of your life every day. The Bible is God’s word, and he gave it to us so we could know what we should believe and how we should live.
Most of all, God gave the Bible to us so we could come to know Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior. If you have never done so, open your heart and life to Christ today. Then come to know him more fully every day, as you discover the treasures of God’s word for yourself and make them part of your life.
Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM; or visit https://www.billygraham.org.