Apodaca: Running the gauntlet that is the start of school

It’s back-to-school season, an annual event greeted by students with a mixture of excitement, anticipation and dread. Parents too, but in a different way.

For those of us with kids in school, this time of year tests our strategic skills, logistics management aptitude, and, above all, patience. We juggle schedules, stock up on supplies, prepare for extreme meal planning and homework monitoring, and more assiduously enforce consistent sleeping routines. So long lazy days of summer.

We also engage in big-time spending. This year families with children in grades K-12 are expected to fork out an average of $669.28 on back-to-school items, including clothing, shoes, electronics and education-related supplies, according to the National Retail Federation. That would represent a 5% increase over last year.

Total back-to-school expenditures are projected to reach $26.5 billion, according to the NRF, but when spending on college kids is factored in the amount skyrockets to $74.9 billion.

I’ve certainly done my part to support the consumer spending numbers, and my sons are at least partly responsible for boosting the fortunes of clothing and electronics retailers, not to mention those of airlines and fast-food establishments.

But we parents know that getting back into the school grind requires far more than just exercising our credit card swiping prowess. When it comes time to send our kids off on the next level of their education, we must become organizational and psychological ninjas, always expecting the unexpected.

That’s the attitude I tried to adopt on a recent trip to help my 19-year-old college student son move into his first apartment a block from campus. We had prepared assiduously for the transition after a long and relaxed summer, but sometimes stuff, as they say, just happens.

And sure enough stuff started happening from the get-go. After the first leg of our two-flight journey back to my son’s college town, we were informed that the second flight had been canceled because of some vague “maintenance” issue, and that the next flight available was more than 24 hours later.

Not to be deterred, we managed to get on another flight to a city a three-hour bus ride away from our destination. We finally arrived well past midnight, dragging our bags — minus my son’s checked luggage, which was heaven knows where at that point — through the dark city streets.

That little adventure set the tone for the next two days, which featured the following: many phone calls to ensure that our wayward bag was located and delivered; a lost cell phone; the ordering of a replacement phone; the first phone located; the order for the second phone canceled; the realization after a marathon shopping spree that we had purchased items we meant to put back on the shelf, but had neglected to buy a lamp for my son’s lightless bedroom, and — oh joy — the discovery of a major mold infestation in one of the boxes we’d had in storage.

As far as problems go, these were all relatively minor hiccups. I had to remind myself to be grateful that we’d managed to avoid some of the bigger issues that can arise when the school year starts. My son is happy with his school, has lots of good friends, makes thoughtful choices, and remains motivated to succeed. What more could a parent ask?

If ever there’s a good teachable moment, this is it. Indeed, many parenting advocates stress that the beginning of the school year is a particularly good time to instill in our children lessons in everything from time management to setting and staying within a budget.

But it also offers the opportunity to show our kids how not to flip out over problems both large and small. Yes, my son’s moldy bedding was a smelly and disgusting inconvenience, but not an insurmountable issue, and it certainly was a chance to show him how to keep a cool head when plans go awry, and to be politely insistent when amends need to be made.

Of course, some issues that can arise at the start of the school year can be much more complicated and potentially consequential. Doubts may arise as to whether children are enrolled in the right classes, or even if the schools they’re attending best fit their needs. Some parents worry that their children will be exposed again to classmates known for their bullying or other bad behavior in the previous school year.

Such concerns reinforce our perceptions of the new school term as a particularly precarious time, both emotionally and practically, presenting parents with a delicate balancing act. We know we must walk that fine line, and decide when it’s appropriate to intervene to help solve a problem or cautiously wait to see if our kids can resolve matters on their own. Sometimes, there are no clear answers.

Yet in all cases, we help our children most when we don’t indulge ourselves in theatrical meltdowns when there are obstacles to face and sticky choices to be made, but instead approach whatever issues are at hand with an attitude of steadfast support and calm engagement.

Even when there’s mold involved.

PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.