A Word, Please: Taking care of the business of punctuation

According to the Internet, there’s a car dealer whose service department has a “kid’s play area,” but a competitor offers a “childrens play area.”

The former makes you wonder: Who is this kid, and does he let other kids use his area? And for the latter the questions run even deeper because there’s no such thing as “childrens.”

Plural possessives wreak havoc in the business world. The words “men,” “women,” “kids” and “children” are especially troublesome, punctuated wrong so often it’s surprising to see them done right. Why? It may have to do with our system.

To form plurals in English, we normally add a single letter S: one kid, two kids. Unfortunately, that’s the same letter we use to form possessives: the kid’s toy.

That’s confusing enough. But irregular nouns, plural possessives and even some disagreement among professionals create a mess that few people can wade through.

Let’s take a closer look at plurals. Yes, many, like “kids,” are easy to form. But those are just the regular nouns. Irregular nouns follow no logical formula whatsoever to form their plurals: one child, two children; one deer, two deer; one criterion, two criteria; one fly, two flies; one man, two men.

Possessives, as noted, are usually formed with an apostrophe and S: the kid’s toy. There’s a different rule if the noun happens to be a plural. Perhaps because plurals like “kids” already have an S tacked onto the end, we have a different rule for these plurals: After the S, add an apostrophe but no extra S: all the kids’ toys.

But many irregular plural nouns like men, women and children, don’t end in S. So they have a special rule: To form the possessive, you treat these plurals as if they were singular, adding an apostrophe plus an S: women’s shoes, men’s department, children’s toys. Compare those to ladies’ shoes, boys’ department and kids’ toys and it’s no wonder people get confused.

There’s more. Some nouns end in S in the singular form: bus, mass, boss, loss, dress. Many people are unsure how to form a possessive of one of these singular nouns, puzzling over choices such as “the boss’s orders” vs. “the boss’ orders.”

The correct choice, according to most sources, is that you add the extra S anyway, making it “the boss’s orders.” But then how do you explain that some publishers would drop the extra S in “the boss’ stationery”?

You can’t, unless you happen to know that certain publishing styles say that, when the word that follows also begins with S, you change the rule. Suddenly, that S that would have made “boss” into a possessive is omitted: boss’ stationery.

And we’re not done yet. Everything I just said about nouns that end in S may not apply when dealing with a proper noun like James. The two most influential publishing guides disagree on whether you should write “James’ coat” or “James’s coat.”

Amid this mess, what’s a business owner to do? Prioritize. Pay special attention to the words “men,” “women,” “children” and “kids.” Any time you need to make one into a possessive, ask yourself whether just one man, woman, child or kid owns the thing in question or whether possession is joint.

If it’s about just one person, start with the singular and add an apostrophe plus S: a man’s hat, a woman’s car, a kid’s toy, a child’s toy. If more than one person owns the thing, first identify the plural form, noting whether it ends in S: men, women, children, kids. Then, if it doesn’t end in S, add apostrophe plus S: men’s department, women’s accessories, children’s toys. If the plural does end in S, add an apostrophe only: kids’ menu.

This system won’t make you an expert in the crazy rules for English plural possessives. But it will help you avoid making some of the most common typos in the business world.

JUNE CASAGRANDE is the author of “The Best Punctuation Book, Period.” She can be reached at JuneTCN@aol.com.