Carnett: Enjoying post-fair peace. Is it too early to start worrying about next year?

Things have been rather quiet in my Costa Mesa neighborhood for the past fortnight.

Hear that?

Ahhh. Crickets.

In case you haven’t noticed, the Orange County Fair has closed for 2015. I have it on questionable authority that it’s packed away in a storage unit somewhere off the 241 toll road.

The fair has dropped the curtain on its 125th edition. None too soon, I submit.

“Yippee Skippy!” as my bride is prone to exult during moments of exuberance.

My back fence is just a few hundred meters from the fair’s action central. Try hosting 1.3 million people in your backyard for a month each summer. It’s exhausting.

George Frideric Handel wrote his “Hallelujah Chorus” for Christmas and Easter. I feel it appropriate to sing it on my personal favorite holiday, Closing-of-the-Fair Festivus, held each August in my living room.

Altogether with gusto: “…and it’s a pain forever and ever!”

Or, how about a “Wizard of Oz” ditty? “Ding dong the Wicked Kitsch is dead.”

The fair will be back, however, quicker than you can slug down a dozen deep-fried coffee balls.

But for now, whew!

The fair closed Aug. 16. No more beer trucks clogging Fairview Road; no out-of-state license plates on vehicles parked next to “No Fair Parking” signs on residential streets; and no more nightly fireworks or barkers yowling until midnight.

It was enough to frighten off our residential coyote population.

As you can see, I’ve found my happy place again. I have my backyard back, my neighborhood back, my way of life back! And my sanity, though that’s up for debate.

I don’t have to worry about getting that knot of dread in my stomach, anticipating the approach of another fair until, say, next May 1 or so. So until the ICBMs start rolling on parade in Red Square for May Day 2016, I’m good.

Savoring the hiatus, y’all!

Billed this year as “One Big Party,” the fair could have easily been labeled “One Big Party at Jim’s: 23 Interminable Days of Fried Cellulose, Carnival Rides, Effluvium and Clatter.”

For me, the fair was a miasma of noise, traffic, deep-fried cookie dough, late night fireworks (one night, I swear, the fireworks went off at 1:30 a.m.), screeching tribute bands, maple bacon doughnuts, screaming audiences, pollution, and did I say noise? It nightly funneled (or dare I say funnel-caked?) into my living room.

Since 1949, the fair has grown from a quaint five-day carnival into a 23-day behemoth. The Iowa State Fair, famous for hosting America’s presidential candidates, runs 10 days.

This summer, as my recent behavioral patterns would predict, I once again did not attend the Orange County Fair.

I opted for the mall, the dentist, the car wash, the post office, the pedicure salon, the DMV, anywhere to avoid it!

It hasn’t always been thus. The fair and I used to be buds. I’ve lived two blocks from it for 40 years and within a mile since 1952. The fair and I know each other well.

A couple of years ago the fair’s theme was “Come & Get It.” Well, I long ago “Went & Got It,” and now I’m just plain over it. I’ve probably attended the fair 50 times in my lifetime. That’s enough.

I’ve been to the fair once in the last 13 years and that was to view Scotty McCrery’s concert in 2012. My wife’s a Scotty fan.

Enough about the fair. Time to enjoy the treasured tranquillity I’m due. I’ll read books, watch movies, do crosswords, nap. No worries until next year.

But that may be cutting it close.

I’m not unduly stressed, but my preparations should begin sooner. Over-the-top fair obsession requires advance planning. Should I begin next Valentine’s Day? Christmas? Thanksgiving?

To be safe, I’ll launch my personal Fair Fixation Campaign on Labor Day.

That gives me 10 days!

Not to worry. With extra preparation time, I’ll handle my 2016 fair whining responsibilities with class — and a spoonful of sangfroid.

JIM CARNETT, who lives in Costa Mesa, worked for Orange Coast College for 37 years.