Q: My husband travels a lot, and last year he finally admitted he had a girlfriend in another city. At first, he said that if I didn't like it I could just leave, but now he's moved out and says he's filing for divorce and then marrying her. Have you ever seen a marriage like ours be saved? I'm an emotional wreck. — Mrs. R.S.
A: Over the years, I've had numerous people tell me that going through a divorce was worse than the death of a loved one — and I understand why. Divorce is almost always intensely painful for at least one spouse, and those who claim otherwise aren't facing reality.
Like death, a divorce marks the end of what was once a treasured relationship, leaving in its wake grief, loneliness and even anger. It also causes fears about the future, including financial hardship and new burdens about life's practical problems. Divorce can also bring emotional burdens of guilt and insecurity, as a spouse wonders what he or she could have done to prevent it. The Bible tells us that God hates divorce (See Malachi 2:16).
What your husband has done is wrong, both in your eyes and in the eyes of God. He thinks he's making the right decision — but he isn't. At the same time, God can intervene and bring him to his senses; occasionally I have seen it happen. May the Psalmist's prayer also be yours: "Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer" (Psalm 4:1).
No matter what the future holds for you, may you turn to God in a new way and discover his peace and love. God loves you, and Christ wants to help you. If you have never done so, turn to Christ and put your faith and trust in him.
Q: Are the Ten Commandments found in the Bible, or did some church make them up? I've heard of them all my life, but I don't come from a religious family so I've never had an opportunity to study them. Are they still important? — J.B.M.
A: Yes, the Ten Commandments are still important. You'll find them in the Old Testament (the part of the Bible that tells us what God did before Jesus Christ came into the world). You'll find them in two places: Exodus, chapter 20, and Deuteronomy, chapter 5.
The Bible tells us God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses, who led the ancient Israelites after they'd been freed from slavery and were headed toward the land God had promised them. The Ten Commandments were given so they would know how to live, and God promised that if they followed them, their lives would be blessed. Moses said, "Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days" (Deuteronomy 5:33).
Although they were given many centuries ago, the Ten Commandments are still valid, and our lives (and our world) would be far better if we followed them. The first ones deal with our responsibilities toward God — to put him first in our lives, and not allow anything to take his rightful place. The latter ones deal with our responsibilities toward others — to avoid lying, stealing, murder, immorality, greed, and so forth.
But the Ten Commandments are important for another reason: They point to our need for God's forgiveness and help. No one lives up to them perfectly, and that's why we need Christ. Don't let your past hold you back, but begin a new life today by asking Jesus to forgive and help you.
(Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit http://www.billygraham.org.)