My Answer: The mullings of a mother-in-law
Q: How can I be a good mother-in-law? Our son got married a few months ago, and they live fairly near us. It’s hard for me not to call them every day, but I don’t want to be an interfering mother-in-law. How can I avoid this but still let them know I care? — Mrs. R.J.
A: I’m thankful you’re concerned about this; the time to think about this is now rather than later, after you might have unintentionally harmed your relationship.
I’m sure most of us have seen examples of mother-in-laws (and father-in-laws) who didn’t get it right — either interfering too much or else cutting themselves off almost completely from their married children. But neither extreme is wise. On one hand, the Bible reminds us that marriage brings with it changes in a couple’s family relationships. In God’s plan, it says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife” (Matthew 19:5).
But this doesn’t mean their parents are no longer concerned or should have no contact with them. I think, for example, of Naomi in the Old Testament. She clearly had a close and loving relationship with her daughter-in-law, Ruth, especially after Ruth’s husband died. Ruth even declared, “Where you go I will go.... Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16-17). As a result, Ruth became an ancestor of Jesus.
Ask God for wisdom — and as you have opportunity, ask your son, as well. Seek advice from your friends also (although every family is different, and what’s right for one may not be appropriate for another). In the meantime, invite them for dinner from time to time... share family news with them... gently offer to help in small ways. God has given you a great privilege; use it wisely.
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Q: Do you think we’ll ever do away with poverty? I heard someone say we could do it if we just tried hard enough, but didn’t Jesus say somewhere that there’d always be poor people? I can’t imagine living the way millions do in some parts of the world. — Mrs. V. McK.
A: You’re probably thinking of Jesus’ comment to some of His disciples, after they criticized a woman for pouring a jar of costly perfume over His head as an act of respect and love.
They contended she should have spent her money helping the poor instead of wasting it on Jesus. But Jesus pointed out that He would not be with them much longer, while the poor would always need her help. Soon He would be taken from them, He said, and the opportunity to express their love in person would be over. (You can read this incident in Mark 14:3-9.)
Jesus’ words have sometimes been misunderstood; some have even suggested He was being insensitive to those living in poverty. But nothing could be further from the truth. Repeatedly the Bible commands us to be concerned for those in need, and it points out that God has a special concern for the poor. Remember: Jesus knew what it was to be poor; Mary and Joseph had very little in the way of material goods. The Bible says, “Whoever is kind to the needy honors God” (Proverbs 14:31).
Will we ever eliminate poverty? We should do all we can, but the real barrier is our human nature. Unless Christ changes our hearts, the human race will always be riddled with greed and corruption and selfishness. Put your life into Christ’s hands, then ask Him to use you to help others overcome both their material and spiritual poverty.
Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit https://www.billygraham.org.