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My Answer: With God, stay out of jail free

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Q: I’ve just been released from prison for about the fifth time. Every time, I’ve said I’d change and not fall back into my old ways, but I always do. What’s wrong with me? I know you’ll probably say I need God, and maybe I do, but what difference would that make? — M.R.

A: Yes, you do need God, because without him you have little hope of ever changing your life. You’ve tried without success to stay out of trouble on your own, so why do you think the future will be any different?

What difference will God make? First, he’ll give you a new purpose in life. Right now, your life revolves around one person: you. But when we come to Christ, we’re no longer the most important person in the world to us. Christ is.

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Instead of living only for ourselves, we have a higher goal: to live for Jesus. We begin to see others through his eyes, and we want to honor him by the way we live. Your desire will be to “live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way” (Colossians 1:10).

But God will also give you a new power in life. When we give our lives to Christ, he comes to live within us by his holy spirit. When temptations come, you can turn to him and find strength to resist them. The Bible says, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26).

Finally, God will give you new people in your life — Christians who love Christ and will love you as well. One of your problems, I suspect, is that you’ve had “friends” who pulled you down, tempting you to do things that were wrong. But God has new friends for you who will encourage you and help you grow in your faith.

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Q: Our aunt takes great delight in criticizing others — and not just people she knows (probably including us), but also those she doesn’t know (like politicians and celebrities). It gets tiresome listening to her, but what can we do? She’s always been like this. — Mrs. D.Y.

A: No one likes to listen to someone who constantly criticizes others or endlessly complains about someone or something. The Bible is clear: “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure” (Philippians 2:14-15).

Why is your aunt like this? Often, I’ve found, people who constantly cut others down do so because it makes them feel superior. Others do it because they want to draw attention to themselves, showing how clever or intelligent they are. Still others think it gives them the right to tell others how to run their lives (although it doesn’t).

But whatever the reason, a critical, complaining spirit is wrong in the eyes of God. How can we love others — as God commands us to do — if we look down on them and constantly say negative things about them? How can we help them and encourage them if we cut ourselves off from them through our critical comments or unloving attitude? How can we be honest about our own sins if we’re preoccupied with the sins of others?

The Bible says, “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another.... Who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12).

Pray for your aunt, that God will convict her of her critical attitude and cause her to repent and humble herself before Christ. Ask God also to give you an opportunity to confront her about this, lovingly but clearly. And pray especially that your own life will reflect Christ and his love for others, no matter how imperfect they are.

(Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM; or visit https://www.billygraham.org.)

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