The Bell Curve: All I want for Christmas is UCI in March Madness

If I could convert my Christmas gifts this year into a single bequest — and world peace was not one of my options — I would give the UC Irvine basketball team a trip to March Madness.

As players, not spectators.

You know about March Madness, of course. That’s when the top 68 U.S. college basketball teams load their three-point guns and march into a battle that three weeks later will leave one team standing.

I’ve been nurturing this hope for almost 40 years — longer, even, than the hapless supporters of the Chicago Cubs. And because I might be running out of time, I have to be careful about what I promise.

A few years ago I went on record — thinking it was quite safe — as saying that I wouldn’t accept the possibility of my own demise until the Angels won the World Series and George W. Bush got through his presidency without ever speaking a grammatically complete sentence. And ever since both of these unlikely conditions came about, I’ve been protecting my backside with special care.

Nevertheless, I’m prepared to put it out there again. This time the whole challenge is on UCI not just to win a berth in the March Madness, but also to make it to the Final Four. You see, I think big when my survival is at stake, especially if it helps light a fire beneath the UCI basketball program — a fire that burned out in recent years and has never recaptured the promise of youth.

How many years ago was that? Well, in my case, it has been more than four decades since I joined up with a band of faculty refugees largely recruited from Harvard and similar prestigious campuses. We were being romanced by the opportunity to have a role in the creation of the “Harvard of the West.”

So it was in this academic soil that intercollegiate sports in general — and yearning for a bid to March Madness in particular — were born and flourished at UCI.

The life of basketball from my perspective as a fully engaged season ticket holder has followed an odd path at UCI — starting strong, then losing its way as the university it represents grew in size, strength and stature.

In those early years, UCI home games were played in a gymnasium used for physical education classes converted to varsity status. Raucous crowds that showed up there were partly seated in chairs overlooking the court from a stage. But the place rocked because UCI was competitive against the high-quality opposition that came to the band-box gym.

My most vivid memories of that period were the two games played every season against the University of Nevada at Las Vegas at a time when UNLV was contesting for national championships. That’s when the Bren Events Center was built and dedicated, and the band box became a palace seating almost 5,000 spectators.

But after a smash opening, the number of empty seats at basketball games began to grow. At the same time, the architect of this early success, Bill Mulligan, the coach who shaped and molded this team early on and kept the fire burning beneath its play, retired.

And year after year the bid to March Madness, which goes automatically to the winner of the Big West Tournament, has continued to elude UCI. Handed the opportunity to lead UCI’s intercollegiate sports visibility — especially with the firm rejection of a football program — basketball keeps coming up short every year.

And those of us who formed and shaped our psyches on Midwestern basketball keep getting older and less patient.

So why, you might ask, am I writing about events that will take place in March when we just finished Thanksgiving? The answer is that I’ve been on hand at Bren for three UCI exhibition games in November, and I’m encouraged by what I’ve seen.

There’s a new, young and eager coach with an impressive background, a couple of large player imports and the cream of last year’s team to build on — and they are hot to trot, pounding the floor with full-court presses and fast breaks. They carried a good Louisiana Tech team into the final minute before losing with their best player hurt and on the bench.

It has been pointed out to me by two of my three daughters that such expectations on such flimsy evidence are dubious at best. I can counter that the brick they bought for me at Anaheim Stadium with the inscription “ever hopeful” resulted in a World Series for the Angels.

We’ll learn the prospects here soon. UCI’s basketball season continues Saturday in a game against a strong San Jose State team, and a few early wins could start putting people back in the seats.

But I picture them celebrating UCI in the Madness next March. So does my honorary third daughter who goes with me to the games.

JOSEPH N. BELL lives in Newport Beach. His column runs Thursdays.